


How to have a secret and fail at hiding it

by sunshineandeyebrows



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), And it's Christmas, Blow Jobs, Dom/sub Undertones, Fear of Discovery, Hand Jobs, I've reached a new low, Kinda, M/M, Merry Christmas I Guess, Monsta X ensemble - Freeform, Porn with Feelings, Smut, a lot of feelings, but also a lot of porn i guess, for my bro, have fun with this filth, i can't believe i wrote porn with jooheon, idol reality, im warning ya, jesus will hate me, jooheon is so whipped, let's just say jooheon discovers some stuff about himself, my pure angel, who's spammed me with joohyuk content for the last three weeks so i could find inspiration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 13:52:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13148049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineandeyebrows/pseuds/sunshineandeyebrows
Summary: "Why can't we just tell them?" Minhyuk mumbles straight into the skin on the back of Jooheon's neck.Jooheon shivers and bats at him weakly. Minhyuk doesn't move."We talked about this two hundred times," Jooheon says, soft. "We can't just risk all of our careers like that. What if they feel uncomfortable with us after we tell them?"Minhyuk huffs, indignant."The amount of gay shit in this group is overwhelming and you know that."





	How to have a secret and fail at hiding it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RollingPotato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RollingPotato/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, people  
> don't tell Jesus you read this kinda stuff on his birthday

"This is stupid," Minhyuk grumbles, pouting.

Jooheon glances at him in exasperation.

"It was your idea!" he reminds incredulously.

Minhyuk whines, rolling around on the bed. Jooheon, in turn, rolls his eyes. Minhyuk ends up on top of him and pins him down effectively. Jooheon is pretty used to that kind of behavior, so he just adjusts in order to see the piece of paper with a bright, colorful NOT TO DO LIST written at the top.

"Why can't we just tell them?" Minhyuk mumbles straight into the skin on the back of Jooheon's neck.

Jooheon shivers and bats at him weakly. Minhyuk doesn't move.

"We talked about this two hundred times," Jooheon says, soft. "We can't just risk all of our careers like that. What if they feel uncomfortable with us after we tell them?"

Minhyuk huffs, indignant.

"The amount of gay shit in this group is overwhelming and you know that."

"Yeah, but it doesn't necessarily mean anyone else except for us is actually gay," Jooheon explains for the nth time.

Minhyuk doesn't answer. They've spent the last half an hour coloring the title and Jooheon has no idea what else they can write here.

"We can't just stop touching completely," he muses, tapping his chin in thought. "Everyone would think we're fighting."

"Our fans also like the gay shit," Minhyuk adds, playing with Jooheon's hair now.

He's not good at keeping his hands to himself. Ever. Jooheon likes to act like he minds, sometimes. It's fun watching Minhyuk pout and pretend he doesn't feel dejected.

"We should at least stop kissing," Jooheon sighs.

Minhyuk gasps loudly.

"Like, completely?!"

"When there is someone in the dorms with us," Jooheon says and has to wait all of two seconds before Minhyuk lets out a protesting shout.

"Are you crazy?! I can't do that!"

"Then what do you suggest we stop doing?" Jooheon yells.

Minhyuk stills and then slowly sinks on top of him.

"I don't know," he mutters.

Jooheon sighs and rolls them over so that he can look Minhyuk in the eye.

"I don't like it either," he says, stroking Minhyuk's cheek with his thumb.

Minhyuk bites his lip and leans into the touch.

The way they started this whole mess was pretty rocky and full of hesitation. Minhyuk didn't think he was different from everyone else at the beginning, even though he always liked kissing his bandmates and holding men's hands so much, it exceeded the amount acceptable for the so-called skinship their country allowed. Jooheon thinks now it just might have been that Minhyuk didn't care as long as even one person was okay with it. He might have hadn't even given it a single thought, if not for Jooheon having doubts and wanting to talk to the only person who seemed to be in a similar situation as him.

So they started consulting each other, they started wondering together, and then, one time, Minhyuk kissed his cheek, Jooheon kissed Minhyuk's nose, and they kissed each other. After that, there came The Crisis™.

They had been uncomfortable with each other for a few weird weeks and even Hoseok noticed something must be wrong, and he's usually not a very observant guy. Jooheon was set on ignoring the problem until they could simply not talk about it ever again. Minhyuk let him do that for a while and then burst.

DO YOU FUCKING LIKE ME, he texted Jooheon one night with all caps, and all Jooheon could really do at that point was to write an equally emotionally loaded YES and wait for the answer with heart in his throat. Minhyuk responded almost immediately with WELL I REALLY FUCKING LIKE YOU TOO, though, so Jooheon could breathe out in relief. And thus, began their relationship, which wasn't all that different from when they had been friends, but involved a lot more touching and the general feeling of safety and happiness. Until they had to think about their surroundings, that is.

Which brings them to the present and a failed list of things they should cut themselves off from.

Minhyuk sighs in content, his eyes fluttering shut and Jooheon smiles to himself. Minhyuk is pretty when he laughs, all radiant and bright, but he's the most beautiful in those quiet moments they have only for the two of them.

"I'm writing down kissing," Jooheon says.

Minhyuk snaps his eyes open.

"Don't!" he shouts, and they start wrestling for the pen.

Finally, Jooheon manages to scribble down the word, but by then Minhyuk is already on top of him with a manic glint in his eyes. Jooheon goes as far as yelling _no_ and Minhyuk is sucking on his lower lip to make him open his mouth. And because Jooheon is weak and likes the attention too much, but mostly because he loves kissing Minhyuk, he complies, letting Minhyuk slide their tongues together.

"Hey, guys, don't mind me, just gonna grab my phone," Changkyun says.

Minhyuk hums in confirmation and then they both freeze. Jooheon opens his eyes abruptly and meets Minhyuk's equally shocked gaze. They scramble to sit up, but by this point the door is closing after the youngest, and they can't let that happen. Minhyuk runs and Jooheon only hears a yelp before his boyfriend is back, a confused Changkyun in tow.

"What?" Changkyun asks, glancing between them with raised eyebrows.

Jooheon bites his lip and looks at Minhyuk, but it seems this might be the first time in Minhyuk's life when he has no idea what to say.

"Just now," Jooheon starts carefully. "When you walked in, you didn't... see anything weird?" it sounds shitty even to his own ears.

Changkyun blinks slowly.

"Weird? Did you miss something while you were kissing? I didn't see anything."

Jooheon feels like he just got punched in the face.

"What Jooheonie wanted to say," Minhyuk corrects, sending him a pointed glance. "is that us kissing should be weird. Wasn't it weird?"

Changkyun frowns just a bit.

"Why would it be weird? It's what you do when you're in a relationship, right? I mean, I'm not really sure how things work in an actual relationship, but that should be it, shouldn't it?"

Jooheon realizes his mouth is open dumbly and quickly shuts it close. His teeth click. Minhyuk is staring at him now, completely stunned.

"Since when have you known that we're," Jooheon pauses. "In a relationship?" he settles on.

Changkyun shrugs.

"Not sure. For some time, I guess. Why?"

Minhyuk's eyebrows have disappeared under his fringe a few sentences ago.

"And you don't care?" he asks incredulously.

Changkyun makes a face.

"Not really. You guys aren't much worse than the rest of us with all the," he makes a wide gesture.

"Gay shit," Minhyuk supplies helpfully.

"Yeah, that," Changkyun nods. "I would have said something, if it bothered me."

Jooheon doesn't know how to react to that. Minhyuk doesn't either, judging by his frozen face. There is a moment of silence.

"Why are you even so shocked?" Changkyun asks. "You guys aren't the most subtle."

Jooheon meets Minhyuk's gaze and he knows they're thinking the same thing.

"So everyone else... knows too?"

Changkyun shrugs again.

"Probably. I don't know. We've never talked about it."

"Oh my God," Minhyuk says faintly.

Jooheon nods.

"You should ask them, if you're so concerned about it," Changkyun says and waves at them, exiting the room.

Jooheon stares at the space in front of him in a daze. He feels Minhyuk sit heavily next to him.

"What the fuck," Minhyuk says, voice hollow.

Jooheon couldn't agree more. He glances at their poor list.

"I guess there is no point doing this anymore," he says and rips it in half.

"Yeah," Minhyuk agrees, his head falling on Jooheon's shoulder naturally.

"What do we do now?" Jooheon asks.

Minhyuk laces their fingers together and takes a deep breath.

"I guess we should talk to the rest."

Easier said than done, neither of them says out loud.

***

"Oh my God, get a room," Hyungwon grumbles, as they wait for their manager to tell them it's finally time to get back to the dorm.

Jooheon makes an aborted motion and Minhyuk squawks, almost falling to the floor from his lap.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jooheon giggles nervously.

Hyungwon raises a perfectly maintained eyebrow from his place on the couch next to them. He's tired, they all are, but it's always the most visible on Hyungwon's face. Live performances exhaust them, and there is so many people to greet. If he wasn't irritated by Minhyuk and Jooheon, Hyungwon would probably be napping by now.

"We have a room," Minhyuk says and shows him his tongue. "It just so happens that Changkyunie also lives there."

"I can move," Changkyun offers immediately, always sharp when it's the least necessary.

Minhyuk's eyes light up dangerously and Jooheon knows Changkyun won't be let off easy.

"There is absolutely no need for you to do that," Jooheon says sweetly, telepathically promising Changkyun murder.

Changkyun shrugs, his eyes a bit wider, and quickly turns his back on them to avoid getting further in trouble.

"Yeah, right," Hyungwon scoffs, massaging his temples. "If you seriously think you're so stealthy, you're dumber than I gave you credit for."

Minhyuk grins and leaves Jooheon's lap to sit in Hyungwon's instead.

"I think the fuck not," Hyungwon mutters darkly and tries to push him off, albeit half-heartedly.

Jooheon knows it's a good strategy to shut Hyungwon up, because he won't say anything as long as Minhyuk leaves him alone, but it still makes his stomach turn just a bit.

"See, Hyungwonie, I can sit in anyone's lap, I just happen to prefer Jooheon's. You should try some time, it's awesome," Minhyuk purrs just for Hyungwon and Jooheon to hear.  
Over my dead body, Jooheon thinks, and has to remind himself that's not the point, because Hyungwon would never do that. The only lap he sits in sometimes is Changkyun's.

Hyungwon makes such a disgusted face, Jooheon feels a bit offended, even though he's also glad it worked.

"No thanks," Hyungwon says, succeeding finally at pushing Minhyuk off.

"Hey, guys, get going!" Hyunwoo tells the room in general and Jooheon feels relieved that awkward situation is already over.

"If you ever do need a room, though, you should just say so," Hyungwon says casually with a smirk.

Or not. Jooheon can feel his face heat up and he purposefully doesn't look at Minhyuk, because that could end badly. Hyungwon brushes past them with a pointed glance and Jooheon kind of wants to smash something to stop being so embarrassed. He steals a glance at Minhyuk when they're the only ones who haven't moved. Minhyuk's face is as red as Jooheon has ever seen it.

"So," Jooheon says slowly. "I guess he knows, too?"

Minhyuk nods.

"I think we can assume that, yes," he mumbles.

"Guys!" Hyunwoo appears in the door with a slight frown, which means he's seriously annoyed. "What are you still doing here? Let's go!"

"Right," Jooheon says and smiles apologetically, because nothing works as well on an irritated Hyunwoo as his dimples. "Sorry, hyung."

Hyunwoo just sighs and leaves first. Jooheon grabs Minhyuk's hand to pull him to the door. Minhyuk laces their fingers on autopilot and when they get to the car, no one even bats an eyelash at that small display of affection.

***

They win. Jooheon looks at the trophy in a daze and has to remind himself it was two hours ago and did, in fact, happen. Hoseok is still sniffling just a bit, as they sit in a circle in their practice room and stare at the thing they've wanted for so long already.

"This is so weird," Kihyun says, extending a hand to poke the trophy with a finger, as if afraid to touch it more firmly in case it disappears. "Stop it," he adds, slapping Hoseok's knee without turning away.

Hoseok pouts, but wipes his nose with a sleeve and doesn't make another sound.

Jooheon looks at every face in turn. Hoseok is smiling despite tear streaks still staining his cheeks. Hyunwoo just stares in a daze. Hyungwon seems thoughtful, playing with his sleeves. Kihyun is still touching the trophy, his mouth slightly open. Minhyuk is grinning so much, his face must be hurting. It makes Jooheon's heart pull in his chest with pure affection. Changkyun catches his gaze, in awe. Jooheon squeezes his thigh and smiles. His chest swells, with pride, with happiness, with relief, with motivation to do more, to be better.

Their manager lets them go out for food and drinks and they spend the evening celebrating over pork and beer. Changkyun drinks a little bit too much soju, so does Minhyuk, and the rest has to drag them to the car before they end up doing something dumb.

Hyungwon calls dibs on the first shower, so Hyunwoo and Hoseok put Changkyun to bed. Hoseok stays with him, claiming he's too tired from all the excitement and he's going to sleep, too. Hyunwoo falls asleep on the couch and Kihyun just covers him with a blanket after two attempts to wake him up so he can relocate. Jooheon ends up in the kitchen, downing a glass of water to sober up a bit. He blinks and Minhyuk is right there, even though he sat him on his bed two minutes ago.

"What? You feel sick or something?" Jooheon asks, letting Minhyuk cling to him.

Minhyuk hums to let him know he's fine and kisses his neck. Jooheon instantly feels the heat in his cheeks, Minhyuk's warmth sipping through his skin and filling him up from the inside.

"Hyung," he mumbles, wishing he didn't drink so much beer to make everything fuzzy. "Come on, stop it."

Minhyuk shakes his head, making a soft sound of protest, fitted snuggly between Jooheon's legs.

"We're in the kitchen," Jooheon reasons.

As expected, it does absolutely nothing to convince Minhyuk to let go. Another problem is that Jooheon doesn't really want him to let go. Minhyuk grins into his shoulder, teeth nibbling on the tender flesh and Jooheon shudders against him, already feeling himself melt.

"We won," Minhyuk says into his skin, voice husky and full of satisfaction, of pure, unfiltered happiness, and Jooheon can't deny him anything.

"We did," he confirms quietly, trying to tell that himself, too.

It's pretty hard to believe, after all.

"I wanna kiss you," Minhyuk rasps, but doesn't raise his head, and maybe that's the only thing keeping them from making out right here, for anyone to find them.

"Go to sleep, it's late," Kihyun says, passing by, and Jooheon is too happy, too relaxed to react in time.

All he manages to do is widen his eyes, before Kihyun pauses and raises his eyebrows at them, narrowing his eyes in suspicion immediately after that.

"We're in the dorms," he says slowly. "There are no fans here, so what are you-" he cuts himself off, eyes widening like they weren't slits just a second ago.

Jooheon wants to protest, wants to say anything, dread pulling at his gut, but his throat is closed up. Minhyuk sighs and pushes himself away, and Jooheon doesn't know what to do, he just knows it aches to have him do that.

"It's nothing, Kihyunnie, I'm just a bit drunk," Minhyuk says with a dopey grin.

Jooheon knows it's fake, and so does Kihyun, judging by the twist of his lips. He lets it slide, though, because he's awesome like that.

"Go to sleep then," he says after a pause.

He holds Jooheon's gaze for a second more, as if trying to say 'we'll be talking about this again', and disappears in the bedroom.

Jooheon slumps against the counter. Minhyuk turns to him, swaying just a bit.

"You think he bought that?"

Jooheon just sighs, running his hands through Minhyuk's hair once and pulling him to make him sleep finally and not cause any more trouble.

***

The next few days go like this: they have a few more music shows to attend, during which Kihyun watches them closely the whole time, and then there are fan meetings. Fan meetings are crazy as always and Jooheon stops caring as soon as he realizes not doing any gay shit is more suspicious than letting Minhyuk cling to him in a fit of giggles every few seconds.

They're watching some variety program on Minhyuk's bed one evening, their feet tangling on the sheets and Minhyuk is grinning the whole time, but then starts laughing when Jooheon gets too into it and yells at one of the guests to just move goddammit. Jooheon likes the atmosphere, it's easy and nice. He doesn't care that Minhyuk laughs at him and Minhyuk doesn't care Jooheon shouts in his ear in frustration.

"We should go on a date," Minhyuk says suddenly.

Jooheon glances at him, startled, but Minhyuk is still looking at the screen.

"How," he starts carefully. "do you want to do that?"

Minhyuk worries his lip and refuses to look at him. He shrugs, a bit helpless, and Jooheon wants to give him everything.

"I'm not sure," Minhyuk mumbles, supporting his chin on folded hands. "Yet," he adds and Jooheon settles a bit, because of course Minhyuk will figure it out.

He wouldn't give up just like that.

"Okay," Jooheon says and leans in to peck Minhyuk's temple.

Minhyuk giggles and turns to him, eyes and nose scrunching up in mirth.

"Again," he demands, making a ridiculous face.

Jooheon rolls his eyes, but dutifully kisses his cheek, jaw, nose, forehead. Minhyuk's long fingers are on his neck, resting there loosely. Jooheon likes the clinginess, likes that Minhyuk seems to need touching him at all times, despite whining about it so often. Minhyuk knows that, though. He knows Jooheon isn't being sincere when he protests and bats him away, and that's good enough. That's them.

"You don't wanna watch anymore?" Jooheon mutters into Minhyuk's throat, voice low.

Minhyuk shivers and groans softly. Jooheon feels sparks under his skin, heat gathering in his stomach, knotting his insides, traveling all the way up his spine to redden his face. He reaches out and runs his hand up Minhyuk's back, cupping the back of his head to tangle his fingers in Minhyuk's black hair. The way Minhyuk leans into his touch, all languid, the way his eyes darken, is so sensual, Jooheon has to swallow past the sudden dryness in his mouth. He's always known Minhyuk is handsome, but it's different when he sees him every day and knows how puffy his face gets from the lack of sleep, and sees his smile so often, it's engraved in the back of his mind. He supposes he got used to Minhyuk's face over the years, but he rarely sees him like this. This Minhyuk is usually reserved for stage, for his fierce image with the sexiest vibe, and Jooheon has to think about his own performance during those times, not stare at his boyfriend. This Minhyuk is something new, something exciting, and Jooheon leans into his scent, drawn like a moth to the flame. He knows Minhyuk can be fire and he wants to feel it, too, he wants–

"Hey, guys! What are you doing?" Hoseok asks cheerfully from the door and Jooheon face plants into the bed with a resigned groan.

"Watching a program," Minhyuk says casually, like he wasn't just totally giving Jooheon the bedroom eyes.

"Oh, what kinda program?" Hoseok asks and, to Jooheon's immense irritation, flops on the top of them on the bed.

Minhyuk yells in protest and shifts around to lessen the weight. Hoseok ends up between them and Jooheon doesn't raise his head, trying to suffocate himself with the sheets.

"What's with you?" Hoseok asks him.

Jooheon pinches his side without a word and they start tussling around, Minhyuk, of course, joining in immediately.

"Hyung."

They all look up at Kihyun, who seems mildly annoyed, equipped with a vacuum cleaner.

"Yeah?" Hoseok says cautiously.

Jooheon isn't surprised, they're all low-key scared of Kihyun holding cleaning supplies and frowning.

"You haven't washed the dishes," Kihyun says slowly and _taps his foot_.

There is a moment when everything kind of freezes.

"Right," Hoseok says, getting up quickly. "Sorry. I'm gonna go wash them now."

Kihyun nods approvingly with a small smile and waits until Hoseok is gone to wink at Jooheon and Minhyuk, grin and close the door behind himself. Jooheon blinks at it, then at Minhyuk. Minhyuk looks as shocked as Jooheon feels, but it only lasts for a second or two, and then he's smiling so widely, Jooheon half expects his face to burst.

"So I guess that leaves Hoseokie-hyung and Hyunwoo-hyung," Jooheon says, stunned.

Minhyuk nods quickly, with enthusiasm, and the knot in Jooheon's chest that's been making him restless for a long time now loosens up a bit. Minhyuk is still smiling when he grabs his face, so in the end they don't manage a proper kiss, but Jooheon feels light and good, so it's awesome anyway.

"Are we watching the rest?" he asks after a moment of just pressing their lips together between silly grins.

"Yeah, I wanna know who wins," Minhyuk says, turning to the laptop.

Jooheon pouts at the back of his head.

"You didn't seem to care before," he mutters.

"What was that?" Minhyuk asks, distracted.

"Nothin'," Jooheon says and hides his face in Minhyuk's armpit.

Minhyuk pats his hair.

"You're a weird one, Lee Jooheon," he says fondly.

Jooheon huffs, because he's a bit offended, but also because Minhyuk is ticklish and it makes him yelp and laugh. Jooheon likes it when Minhyuk laughs the best, after all.

***

Hyunwoo is the only one they actually talk to about the whole thing after the third time he almost walks in on them. They stumble on the words, both of them, and Jooheon knows it's because they respect Hyunwoo too much to have him hate them. Hyunwoo is looking at them with a light, focused frown the whole time it takes them to blurt out that they're actually in a relationship and that they know it might cause so much trouble, but they're being careful and can Hyunwoo please not be disgusted. Hyunwoo is silent for a long, heavy minute after they're finished.

"Okay," he says at last, nodding slowly. "So you're together, right? I mean, it's not like it changes the way I see you, guys. It's just that you have to be extremely cautious right now. I get it, I want you to be happy. But if it gets out, this is not just about you."

"We know," Jooheon says, solemn and so damn relieved. "Thanks, hyung."

Minhyuk makes a strangled sound and Jooheon glances at him, but then Minhyuk throws himself on Hyunwoo's neck, right out wailing. Hyunwoo doesn't even blink, just pats his back, accommodating him easily.

"I promise we'll be so careful," Minhyuk sniffles, words barely audible.

Hyunwoo smiles and pats him some more, sending Jooheon a reassuring glance. The knot in Jooheon's chest is almost gone now. Somehow, he's not very concerned with Hoseok's opinion. Not that it doesn't matter to him, but Hoseok is the most sensitive guy he knows. He's also very open. It should be fine.

Minhyuk is still crying when Hyungwon enters the room three minutes later. He takes a second to make an absolutely disgusted face at them and turns on his hill without a word. Jooheon is too relieved to care about Hyungwon's moods.

"Have you told the rest?" Hyunwoo asks Jooheon, because Minhyuk is now reduced to a very touched koala.

"Kinda?" Jooheon shrugs helplessly. "They just found out on the way, I guess."

"So everyone knew except for me?" Hyunwoo asks, expression blank, but Jooheon knows he's a bit hurt he was the last one to find out.

"Hoseokie-hyung might still not know," Minhyuk says, wiping his nose on Hyunwoo's shirt.

"And you're the only one we told officially," Jooheon adds.

That seems to be enough to appease Hyunwoo.

"You should tell him, he's gonna be disappointed, if he's the only one who doesn't know," he says, running his fingers through Minhyuk's hair now.

"Sure thing, hyung," Jooheon agrees immediately. "You're the best, we love you!" he adds in a cute, small voice, shooting Hyunwoo a series of hearts.

Hyunwoo laughs, which is already plenty as for a reaction from him, and Jooheon hasn't been so satisfied in a long time. Hyunwoo tells Minhyuk to wipe his face, because they have an interview in the morning and he can't show up blotted. Minhyuk pouts and demands Jooheon does it for him. Jooheon whines until Minhyuk tweaks his forehead and disappears in the bathroom. Hyunwoo puts a heavy hand on Jooheon's shoulder.

"I trust you, Jooheon-ah," he says, voice serious. "Don't get us all in trouble, okay?"

Jooheon nods, his chest expanding with pride at that simple declaration.

"Okay, hyung. I swear we'll be as cautious as possible," he says, equally serious.

Hyunwoo nods once and smiles at him gently.

"I hope you guys don't get hurt, we're gonna have to live together for a long time."

"That's the plan," Jooheon grins.

Hyunwoo huffs gently and leaves him there. Minhyuk trudges in the next minute, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Jooheon melts a little and pulls him to their room. Changkyun is playing a game on his phone, but he doesn't care that they sleep in the same bed at all, so Jooheon just tells him goodnight and lets Minhyuk bury his face in his chest.

***

"Where are we going?" Jooheon asks with a laugh a week later.

Minhyuk doesn't answer, a huge grin on his face, and drags him along until they stop in front of a cinema.

"Seriously?" Jooheon asks, half surprised, half hopeful.

Minhyuk nods so enthusiastically, it seems his head will fall off, and pushes him inside.

"You wanted to watch this movie, right?" he says two minutes later when they already have the tickets.

"Yeah," Jooheon nods, a wave of affection washing over him, because he didn't think Minhyuk would remember something like that.

"You're the one buying popcorn," Minhyuk says next, sending him a shit eating grin.

Jooheon decides that's fair. Minhyuk did just pay for the tickets, after all.

The movie is awesome. They both get into it so much, Jooheon forgets they could easily be holding hands in the semi darkness or maybe even kiss. No one recognizes them, but they have their masks on and maybe no one expects someone like them in a cinema of all places.

"Ta-dah!" Minhyuk singsongs, placing food in front of Jooheon an hour later.

Jooheon raises his eyebrows.

"How did you convince Kihyun-hyung to make it?" he asks, reaching for chopsticks.

Minhyuk huffs.

"How do you know I wasn't the one who made it," he mumbles.

Jooheon laughs mockingly.

"You can barely make a spaghetti, babe, you can't fool me so easily."

Minhyuk looks conflicted for all of two seconds and then smiles to himself.

"I'll let this disrespect slide, since you called me so prettily."

Jooheon reaches out to ruffle his hair, giddy. One of his favorite things about their relationship is that Minhyuk is straight forward to a fault. There is no space for stuff like miscommunication. Minhyuk always tells him when he needs space and when he needs company, always rambles about his troubles and worries, even if he always adds it's stupid. Jooheon doesn't think it's stupid and makes sure to tell Minhyuk that every time. It wasn't always like that, though. Minhyuk had been struggling alone for a long time at the beginning, when they were still cautious around each other and Kihyun was the only one who could make him share his concerns. But after Jooheon and Minhyuk started kissing, after they decided it's more than that, Minhyuk gradually opened up to him. He still sometimes says he shouldn't be talking like that, because he's the older one, but Jooheon developed a habit of squishing his cheeks when he mentions anything along those lines, so now Minhyuk stops himself as soon as he sees Jooheon raising his hands.

"Babe," Jooheon repeats, grinning.

Minhyuk's eyes are full of sparks, as he stares at him. He's almost glowing. Jooheon doesn't understand how that works.

"I bribed him with cleaning," Minhyuk says, toying with Jooheon's fingers on the table. "Told you I will get us a date," he adds, playful.

Jooheon's stomach swoops excitedly.

"Come on, eat," Minhyuk says, winking, and they spend the next hour bickering over food and talking about literally everything they can think of.

"What did you do with the members, though?" Jooheon asks, as they're washing the dishes.

"Hyunwoo-hyung took them out to eat," Minhyuk says, hip checking him, as he hums some familiar melody and wipes the plates.

"You're amazing," Jooheon says and it catches them both off guard.

Minhyuk smiles at him then, radiant and beautiful, his cheeks flushed, and puts away the last plate on the counter blindly to pull Jooheon in. His hands are a bit damp from using the same rug to wipe all the plates, but Jooheon doesn't care, because he loves Minhyuk's hands on a normal basis, but he loves them even more on himself.

"How much time do we have before they get back?" he murmurs into Minhyuk's mouth, Minhyuk's long fingers in his hair.

He wants them everywhere on his body.

"A lot," Minhyuk breathes, voice husky and deep.

It's difficult to find a moment for themselves when living with five other people in such a small place, so they usually settle for quick make out sessions and some more touching in mornings, careful not to wake anyone, behind closed door to the bathroom. It's absolutely thrilling to have the whole apartment to themselves. Minhyuk's body is lean and so warm, as he melts under Jooheon's touch.

"Kihyun will kill us, if we do anything in the kitchen," Minhyuk mumbles, nosing along Jooheon's jaw.

Jooheon scoffs.

"You just had to mention him right now, didn't you."

Minhyuk grins, all teeth, and pulls him towards the living room. They're both too impatient already, bumping on every wall just to keep kissing, to keep the shortest possible distance between them. Jooheon lands heavily on the couch, Minhyuk quick to settle in his lap. Jooheon can feel the familiar heat squeeze his insides, Minhyuk's nimble fingers on his belt, his hot breath on Jooheon's neck. Jooheon lets him do what he wants for now, but all he can think about is Minhyuk on his knees, eyes full of glitter and mouth stretched and glistening.

"OH MY GOD! My eyes! What the fuck is going on!"

Minhyuk bites on his collarbone too hard from surprise and Jooheon hisses violently. They both turn to look at Hoseok, who's still in the doorway, currently covering his whole face.

"Oh!" Minhyuk exclaims, as if he just remembered something crucial, definitely too calm for the kind of situation they're in, if you ask Jooheon. "Oh right, hyung! We have something to tell you."

"You think?!" Hoseok screeches, moving away his hands to shoot them a look, but he groans and puts them back to his face. "Can you tell me when you're sitting separately?"

Jooheon stares and can't help thinking two things, alarms going off in his head. One, they forgot about Hoseok. Two, they finally had an evening to themselves, one damn evening, and it's all over now. Minhyuk gets up to sit next to him on the couch and Jooheon spares a second to be thankful to whatever higher power is out there that they weren't hard yet.

"Don't be so dramatic, we're good already," he huffs at Hoseok, a spike of guilt in his stomach.

Hoseok peeks out from between his fingers and sighs audibly, gingerly sitting next to them. He considers them for a few seconds and then his eyes widen in realization.

"This is why Hyungwon was grinning like the biggest asshole when I said I'm going back! Christ, guys! On the couch?! We all sit here!"

Jooheon blinks at him.

"That's what you decided to focus on? You just saw us making out!"

"And I thought I reacted accordingly!" Hoseok says in disbelief.

Jooheon looks at Minhyuk, but Minhyuk is just staring at Hoseok, contemplative, his eyes narrowed.

"Hyunwoo wanted to give you two space, didn't he," Hoseok mutters when neither Jooheon nor Minhyuk say anything. "That's why he offered to pay for food."

"I bribed him with cleaning the bathroom when it's his turn," Minhyuk nods.

Hoseok nods with him and then cuffs them both around the head.

"Why am I the only one who doesn't know anything, you damn punks!"

Jooheon massages his head and stares at him begrudgingly.

"You thought I'd care?" Hoseok asks, a bit calmer. A bit hurt, too.

It feels a lot like getting scolded for doing something selfish, like that time Jooheon's mother told him it's okay to follow his dreams, even though she looked worried sick. It feels like disappointing someone you care about.

Hoseok sighs, sagging against the back of the couch. Minhyuk is biting his lip, almost vibrating with the need to touch and comfort.

"We're sorry, hyung," Jooheon says, grabbing Minhyuk's hand to help him settle, even if just a bit. "We wanted to tell you, but we were the least worried about you walking in on us, so it kinda, uh, we might have forgotten that you don't know?"

"Really, really sorry," Minhyuk repeats, shifting impatiently.

"So, what, you weren't gonna tell me at all?" Hoseok says.

"We were!" Jooheon promises quickly. "But it's hard and we're taking it slow and-"

"Okay, first of all," Hoseok interrupts him. "What I saw just now definitely wasn't taking it slow," Jooheon can feel his ears pulsating with heat. "Second of all, this?" Hoseok gestures between them. "This is nothing. Do I have to remind you my ex-girlfriend is now a guy?"

Jooheon didn't think of that. Minhyuk didn't either, judging by his expression. Hoseok shakes his head at them.

"Look, I get that it's scary and confusing and with our schedule, it's tough. But you could have told me anytime. It's okay. It's pretty normal, even, considering your hormones don't have a way out. So even if it's experimenting, it's fine. Jesus, you have no idea what Changkyun watches, I swear to God, that guy needs help."

"I know, right," Jooheon mutters. "He's pretty messed up, he sent me a few videos."

"He sometimes doesn't close the bathroom, do you know how many times I've walked in-" Hoseok starts and pauses quickly. "No, we were talking about you. What the hell is going on with you."

"We've never been on a date," Minhyuk says, strangely quiet until now, and Jooheon's chest tightens. "I got too excited planning it and Jooheonie had his individual schedule, and we forgot to tell you. We also told Hyunwoo-hyung only last week."

Hoseok looks between them for a moment.

"That's why they didn't stop me from going back," he guesses. "It was probably Kihyun that told Hyunwoo not to say anything, that son of a bitch. Thank fuck it was just this," he sighs again. "I don't need any new traumatic experiences."

"You're not gonna be mad?" Jooheon asks carefully.

Hoseok sends him a pointed look.

"I'm not you, I don't hold grudges."

Jooheon scoffs.

"Hyung," Minhyuk speaks up, finally reaching out to grab Hoseok's hand. "It's because we weren't concerned about what you'll say. I mean, we knew you'll be okay with it. We just forgot, there's been so little time for everything recently. Sorry."

Hoseok squeezes his fingers, a small smile on his face.

"Don't sugarcoat it, moron. Well," he straightens. "I guess I'm gonna go eat some more. And maybe strangle Kihyun. You kids have fun. And don't worry about all this, okay?"

They both nod quickly, but as soon as Hoseok's gone, they slump on the couch.

"I can't believe we forgot," Minhyuk mumbles, irritation in his voice and Jooheon knows what that means.

He knows Minhyuk is going to blame himself for screwing up, for taking care of what he wants to do before what he should.

"Most important thing is he's okay with it," Jooheon says firmly, Minhyuk's hand still in his grasp. "It's only been a week since we told Hyunwoo-hyung, too. It's not easy."

That's not exactly true, because they both knew talking to Hoseok could be the easiest. Still, it's not like they're experts in this whole thing. Jooheon still isn't a hundred percent sure, if it was a good decision to tell anyone at all.

"Hyung," he sighs, turning to cup Minhyuk's cheeks. "It's fine. Don't beat yourself up over it now. He understands."

Minhyuk looks at him for a moment, searches his face.

"Okay," he says finally with a small pout.

Jooheon coos at him and pinches the soft skin under his palms. Minhyuk squirms and laughs, and Jooheon can feel something inside him soften.

"Do you want to just take a nap?" he asks, because there is no way they're doing anything more fun after such a conversation.

It would just feel wrong.

Minhyuk considers him for a second, turns to kiss his palm.

"Yeah, let's do that," he says, a small smile stretching his mouth.

Jooheon leans in to peck his nose. It scrunches up under his lips. They slip under Jooheon's covers and Minhyuk curls into him, suddenly small and quiet. Jooheon tends to get irritated, when Minhyuk is loud and bothers him to no end, but his heart hurts at times like now. Minhyuk thinks too much and it usually ends with him getting frustrated at himself.

"Stop it," Jooheon mumbles into his hair, hands busy drawing circles on Minhyuk's back. "It's okay, everything's fine, don't think too much."

Minhyuk hums, clears his throat.

"I love you," he says, voice hoarse and small, pressed into Jooheon's chest.

Jooheon blinks down at him, suddenly unable to breathe, suddenly overheated and misplaced, too big for his skin and with heart in his ears. Minhyuk has said that many times, of course. He's affectionate and wants to shower everyone with his feelings. But this is different. This is not what he singsongs on stage, not what he wheezes out while laughing, this is not for a friend. Jooheon's palms are frozen in place and sweaty. Minhyuk's breath is too even and deep. Finally, he shifts and raises his head.

"Do something, you're making me nervous," he laughs, but it's shaky.

He licks his lips and Jooheon traces the movement helplessly.

"Sorry, I'm just," he pauses, because it doesn't matter how shocked he is, all that matters is his blood pounding furiously in his ears and the knots in his stomach, because Minhyuk is right here, beautiful and bright and all his. "I love you," he says finally, short on breath.

He's nervous too, abruptly, because what if it didn't sound sincere, what if Minhyuk thinks it was just to answer with the same thing, what if he doesn't believe him-

Minhyuk smiles and it takes up his whole face, and his eyes are filled with glitter.

"Don't think too much," he says and Jooheon thinks those words are familiar, and realizes he himself said them earlier, but earlier feels like three years ago, because this is now and Minhyuk just said he loves him.

"Sure, no thinking," Jooheon nods dumbly and lets Minhyuk kiss him for a few seconds, before his brain catches up and he unfreezes his hands, wrapping them around Minhyuk's slim waist and pulling him closer.

There is a distant thought somewhere at the back of Jooheon's mind that they were supposed to take a nap, but Minhyuk sits up and straddles him, and that's truly the end of Jooheon's thought process.

"God, you're so pretty," Minhyuk mutters, pressing close, hands cupping Jooheon's jaw.

His voice is low and husky, and Jooheon's stomach flips at the praise. Minhyuk nibbles on his lip, teasing, and then smirks, his fingers going lower, grazing Jooheon's collarbones, smoothing down his shirt, until they reach the band of his pants and Jooheon sucks in a breath.

"Oh?" Minhyuk hums, pauses his movements completely. "You're gonna let me do whatever I want? If I knew all it took was to tell you how I feel, I woulda done it sooner."

Liar. Jooheon groans, wordlessly urging him on. He's perfectly aware how much it was for Minhyuk to say that, to make himself vulnerable like that.

"I thought what you wanted was to take a nap?" he mumbles.

Minhyuk clucks his tongue, impatient.

"And then you said you love me," he reminds boldly. Jooheon's face is too warm. "Take it off?" Minhyuk says, flapping the hem of his shirt.

He's still smirking.

Jooheon does what Minhyuk wants him to do, because usually when Minhyuk is smirking, the next thing he does is sucking him off, and that's exactly what's been on Jooheon's mind since they finished eating.

Minhyuk pushes him down on the bed, licking his lips, and Jooheon can feel himself hardening just from the image alone.

"Jesus, you're so gorgeous," Minhyuk sighs, his hands roaming freely around Jooheon's chest, raking his abdomen.

Jooheon whimpers, high and needy, and claps a hand over his mouth. Minhyuk's eyes are huge and unblinking.

"Oh my God," he breathes. "Do that again."

Jooheon shakes his head. What the fuck even was that, this is not how he usually responds, he should be growling and trying to take over control, fight until Minhyuk lets him roll them over with a laugh. That's what they're used to, tussling around playfully until Jooheon finally wins and Minhyuk accepts whatever Jooheon wants to give him. But then again, Minhyuk has never praised him so much before, not like this, not like Jooheon is all he wants to look at for the rest of his life.

"Oh baby, I wanna bite you all over," Minhyuk says into the skin of his neck, voice rough and rumbling and Jooheon's toes curl.

He lets Minhyuk move his hand and kiss him, dips his fingers into dark strands of Minhyuk's hair, tugs, opens his mouth. It's different. It's all so different than those stolen kisses in the bathroom when it's too early for anyone to be up. It's different than having Minhyuk on his knees with his mouth stretched and eyes shining. It's different than going earlier to bed just to have the room to themselves and pressing Minhyuk down into the mattress with a huff, as Minhyuk himself giggles under the onslaught of kisses.

Minhyuk's eyes are dark and his teeth sharp as they sink into the skin under his jaw. Jooheon makes a sound, another high and desperate one, not just because it stings. He wants praise again. Screw what it's supposed to look like. He's hard and Minhyuk is fire, heating him up from inside out, and his fingers are long and feel so good on his body, and Jooheon wants to please him so much.

Minhyuk's breath hitches, his tongue smoothing out the sting, and he looks up.

"Stop me, if it's too much," he says and Jooheon's chest swells with affection.

"Okay," he nods, hands somewhere around the fly of Minhyuk's pants.

Minhyuk grins and moves down to suck on Jooheon's nipple, making him arch his back with a hiss.

"So beautiful," Minhyuk breathes.

Jooheon groans, his skin on fire. Minhyuk licks down to his stomach and then lower, kisses his hip and opens the fly of his pants, his movements quick and practiced. He looks up and Jooheon knows it's because his hands ended up clenching the sheets instead of his hair. He relocates them and pulls experimentally. Minhyuk grunts and leans down, mouthing on Jooheon's cock through the annoying layer of his underwear. Jooheon throws back his head, sparks of pleasure shooting down his spine.

"Hyung!" he bites off, desperate. "Come on, please!"

Minhyuk raises his head and Jooheon whines.

"Again," Minhyuk says, his breath warm and heavy.

Jooheon looks down at him in confusion, frustrated and turned on, but then he gets it and embarrassment twists in his stomach.

"Please," he says anyway, because he's too far gone to care. His voice is hoarse. " _Please, hyung_."

Minhyuk grins, predatory.

"Good boy," he purrs and Jooheon's head spins, his insides hot and skin breaking out into a shiver.

Minhyuk moves his briefs out of the way in less than a second, swallowing him down. Jooheon cries out, hips snapping, but Minhyuk instantly pins him to the bed, his grip strong and unwavering, and Jooheon wants to feel that weight on his whole body. Minhyuk does that thing with his tongue that makes Jooheon's toes curl and Jooheon moans.

"Hyung," he pants, voice too high. "Hyung, I wanna do that too."

Minhyuk releases him with a loud pop.

"Do what?" he asks and has to clear his throat. "What do you want, baby?"

Jooheon decides he loves that pet name.

"I wanna suck you off, too," he says and it sounds filthy, too bold and desperate.

Minhyuk cocks his head to the side.

"At the same time?" Jooheon nods. "Will it be okay, though? We've never done something like that."

He must realize it's not like him to say that kind of words, because he hums, thoughtful. Minhyuk loves the challenge.

"Okay," he says finally, decisive. "Turn to your side."

Jooheon does, excitement squeezing his insides. Minhyuk relocates, legs bending next to Jooheon's head and he looks up, checking their position. Jooheon licks his lips. He's staring at Minhyuk's cock, still under two layers of clothing, but now in his direct line of vision. Minhyuk groans, Jooheon isn't entirely sure why, and gets back to sucking on the head of his dick. Jooheon's hips buck, but Minhyuk is quick to hold him in place, slowly relaxing his throat to fit in as much of him as he can. Jooheon whimpers, the urge to thrust into the soft heat overwhelming, and he forgets he should be doing the same for a few long seconds. 

Minhyuk hums around him, probably amused, and electricity rushes through Jooheon's nerves all the way to the ends of his fingers. Minhyuk stills, waiting, and Jooheon moves finally, unzipping Minhyuk's pants and getting them out of the way along with the underwear. Minhyuk is hard, his cock red and heavy, curling against his stomach, and Jooheon salivates, giving it an experimental tug first. Minhyuk thrusts into his hand, another sound ripping out of his throat and making Jooheon gasp. He leans in, licking along the shaft in one long stripe. Minhyuk chokes just a bit, Jooheon's cock hitting the back of his throat and Jooheon's eyes roll to the back of his head. He gets himself together, though, grabbing Minhyuk's hips to keep him in place and sucking the head of Minhyuk's dick into his mouth, mindful not to clench his jaw when Minhyuk whines and sparks go off in Jooheon's bones. It was a good idea, Jooheon thinks absently, as he takes more and more into his mouth, opening his throat, and it causes another chain reaction between their bodies. An amazing idea. They're at it for a while, sucking and licking and groaning, and Jooheon knows he's going to come first, Minhyuk's mouth insistent and hot and so damn good. He pulls off, trying to hold himself back through another whine spreading vibrations in his body, this one disappointed, but he can barely think at this point, mind hazy and on edge, familiar heat gathering in his lower belly, hips already bruised where Minhyuk is gripping them hard, but still trying to move on their own.

"Hyung," he pants, lips still close to Minhyuk's cock.

Minhyuk gags on him again and Jooheon whimpers.

"Gonna come," he manages.

Minhyuk hums and Jooheon throws back his head, crying out. Minhyuk swallows around him and Jooheon watches his throat work, lightheaded. Then suddenly Minhyuk hollows his cheeks and it's over. Jooheon doesn't know what sound he makes, doesn't know what he does with his hands. Minhyuk sucks him dry and Jooheon vaguely registers the sheets rustling, and opens his eyes to Minhyuk's dark gaze, his chin a mess. Jooheon feels like his limbs are made of cotton and the world is awesome. He slowly raises a hand to wipe Minhyuk's face clean.

"You okay?" Minhyuk asks with a grin.

Jooheon nods with a lazy smile and wraps his fingers around Minhyuk, because he can't be the only one feeling this good. Minhyuk's hips stutter and he curses, teeth sinking into Jooheon's shoulder. The sting is a bit too much and Jooheon whines into Minhyuk's hair. Minhyuk lets him go, licks over the mark, up his neck, thrusting up into Jooheon's hand quickly.

"Come on, hyung," he mutters, his voice a complete disaster. Minhyuk shudders against him. "I've been good, right? Come for me."

And Minhyuk does, choking on a moan, fingers clenching around Jooheon's wrist. Jooheon milks him until he slumps against him, spent, and they lie like that for a while, calming their breaths.

"That," Minhyuk says. His voice is awful, too. Jooheon could probably get hard again just from hearing it, if Minhyuk said the right things. "was an awesome idea."

"It was a pretty nice date," Jooheon mutters with a grin, leaving kisses all over Minhyuk's hair and temple.

Minhyuk looks up at him, eyes scrunched up in mirth.

"The next one has to be even better," he says, biting Jooheon's jaw lightly.

"We'll think how to top that," Jooheon agrees.

"I could always top you," Minhyuk teases and Jooheon groans.

"That was terrible," he tweaks Minhyuk's nose, but doesn't protest.

It could be fun.

"We should go brush our teeth," Minhyuk reasons, moving to sit up.

"And open a window," Jooheon adds, groaning miserably, but following him.

"And wash the sheets," Minhyuk laughs, bundling them up.

"And then we can finally take a nap," Jooheon sighs.

Minhyuk throws the sheets at him.

"I didn't hear you complaining earlier," he huffs, as Jooheon sputters, trying to catch the bundle without dirtying himself even more.

"Why would I complain," he grumbles. "It felt good, and you're the one setting pace."

Minhyuk easily catches the sheets once Jooheon throws them back. His eyes are sparkling.

"Good boy," he murmurs and leaves Jooheon to have a mild existential crisis about his kinks alone.

***

"You actually wanted to write a list?" Hyungwon snorts. "You've been so obvious, rules like not kissing would be pointless."

Hyunwoo and Hoseok exchange a look. Kihyun notices and smirks. They wouldn't be pointless for everyone in the group.

Jooheon shrugs.

"We thought you'd be against it," he mumbles begrudgingly.

He doesn't get why they're even getting an intervention after everything that happened.

"We want you to be happy," Kihyun says with a slight frown and kicks Minhyuk in the shin, ignoring the indignant yelp. "Why didn't you tell me sooner, I thought we were best friends!"

Minhyuk glares at him. Kihyun glares right back. As expected, Minhyuk breaks first.

"I'm sorry! This was important and scary! I don't know what I'd do, if you didn't support me!"

Kihyun's expression softens.

"Fine. But you deserve that kick. I would have supported you no matter what."

Minhyuk shoots up from the couch, where he was sitting next to Jooheon, to smother Kihyun in a hug.

Changkyun shrugs.

"We're all pretty gay, but you were extra gay. I'm surprised Hyunwoo-hyung and Hoseok-hyung didn't notice."

Hyunwoo clears his throat awkwardly.

"The most important is that you're careful. With people, but also with each other."

Hoseok snorts.

"They'll be fine. They're best friends first, after all, right?"

Jooheon catches Minhyuk's gaze from above Kihyun's shoulder. They'll be fine. They can afford to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Even if they hurt, it's going to be together. Jooheon is sure of that.

"Right," he says with a small smile.

"Ew, oh my God, I'm leaving," Hyungwon declares, making a face. "Too many feelings, I kinda wanna puke."

Changkyun has been grimacing for some time now, so he quickly follows Hyungwon out of the room. Hoseok grins.

"You won't believe where they wanted to bang, Kihyunnie," he singsongs.

Jooheon bolts up, Minhyuk on his heels, as they race to lock themselves in the bathroom before Kihyun finds out the truth and guts them. Hoseok's delighted laugh rings after them. They'll be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> to whoever made it till the end - thanks  
> kudos and comments appreciated!


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